Why do victims blame themselves?

It is common for victims of abuse to take on the responsibility for the abuse they received. This happens because the abuser deflects ownership of their own choices and the survivor begins to believe lies about themselves.

To keep reading: visit Why do victims blame themselves?

 

 

Emotional and psychological abuse: how are they different?

Understanding the distinct differences between emotional and psychological abuse is vitally important to survivors and their recovery. The underlying motivations of these two forms of harm are vastly different. Both types of abuse are extremely hurtful to the target and must be addressed within the relationship.

To read more, visit southlakecounseling.org/blog

The Truth of Living with Trauma

For those of us who live with the daily task of recovering from trauma, there are a few realities that we must authentically acknowledge and even embrace. Post-trauma life can be amazing, but we cannot afford to be in any denial about how our life experiences have changed us and our daily life. Trauma survivors in recovery know the importance of being truthful with ourselves and those around us.

Five realities of living with trauma:

  • Some people cannot be in our inner circle.
  • Be prepared for extra body pain.
  • We rebound slower from everyday stress.
  • Tough days will come, but they also fade out.
  • We will have a heightened awareness of our surroundings.

To read full article: The Truth of Living with Trauma 

Grief: The Surprise Emotion with Personal Growth

While we don’t expect sadness to accompany reaching a milestone in our growth, it’s a common experience. Once we’ve tasted the goodness of restoration in an area of life, we kick ourselves for not having made the changes sooner. In order to fully enjoy our growth, we must address this new grief.

To keep reading, visit The Grief that Comes with Growth

Sunshine and Rain

In each life, there will be sunshine and rain. In Texas, sometimes these two weather events happen at the exact same moment. I have taken my fair share of pictures with sunshine in the distance and dark thunderstorm clouds overhead. Life is often like Texas weather; we can be experiencing happiness and pain all at the same moment.

In each of our lives, there are bound to be areas of sunshine and rain. The rain, or painful situations, can make showing up emotionally and/or physically for the holidays difficult. The sunshine, or reasons to be grateful, will put a pep in our step. Often people will have two parallel tracks going in life. No life is all good or all bad. It is a mixture of both in the same picture.

Regardless of where our lives fall on the spectrum of joyful or difficult, we can enjoy the holiday in our own ways. If it involves a quiet day by yourself or a small group of folks, take in the calm that can be present. Pause and enjoy that you are in control of all your own decisions for the day. Learn to see solitude as a gift and a time to enjoy your own companionship or that of a few other people. As the day goes on, collect five (5) things that happened (or didn’t happen) that you can be grateful for.

If you will be spending the day in a large group, I suggest pausing to take in the five (5) senses. What are you seeing, what are hearing, what are you tasting, what are you smelling and what are you touching? In the blur of a busy holiday crowd, tensions can sometimes come up or we find ourselves drawn in different directions that can be overwhelming. Choosing to be purposeful in staying present in the moment can help us enjoy our surroundings more.

As for me, my day will be on the quieter side spent with my immediate family. It will include our favorite food, football (come on Cowboys, don’t disappoint!) and maybe a mimosa or two. Having a day to relax in my pajamas is a real treat for me and even though life is never “perfect” for anyone, there is so much to be celebrated. The holidays are when we can choose to focus on the things in our lives that bring us comfort and small joys.

Thank you so much for being a part of the blessings in my life. It has been an incredible season and I am thrilled to get to share the journey with you.

Keep Dreaming Big!

Shannon